Cum in the crack

Page 14 | 2020-11-20

Dear ic3,

Yesterday I had a really good fuck. I went to the modern arts museum with the girl I mentioned before, the one who likes crack a lot and wants to see all museums. cr1s is her name. She is incredibly cute, although not a "perfect" image. I don't know, I guess I'm brainwashed by the media regarding society's standards concerning the body. We didn't talk much, and I guess there was the language barrier, her English isn't as good as her Portuguese and talking about art already difficult even when you're both fluent in the same language. She kept saying that she was sorry for boring me and that she was fat, and I kept saying she wasn't. I was sober, and I think she was too but you could really tell she missed being under the influence of something. But she also kept saying she was so happy I had taken her to the museum and how alone she was.

After the museum I invited her over for dinner; we went to the store first. Because I had been drinking the day before already and I didn't feel like hanging out with her not sober I declined her offer to buy beers. She tried to buy two anyway but because of the safety measures in place to contain the virus ruling the country the store didn't sell them anymore. I was relieved.

Once at my place I cooked a nice curry with fresh ginger, turmeric, garlic, mushrooms, cumin and tofu. Again she mentioned how well a beer would've worked with this food, and that she missed being high. drugz had forgotten her shitty joint at my place the night before, rolled with the wrong papers and very little hash; we decided to smoke it but luckily I didn't feel much of it. Oh I also had been smoking her cigarettes all night unfortunately, I really feel like I'm getting addicted to tobacco again but I find no motivation to say no when I'm offered a cig, I guess it's still fine if I don't buy it myself. I keep hanging out in the wrong places with the wrong people. I shouldn't if I'm too weak to say no. But what else to do with my life, sit at home all day playing some stupid videogame and jerk off? The people I meet from Tinder are not much better than the people I hang out with, I see no one at my university in real life, it's difficult to satisfy my social needs without sacrificing some ideals or being tormented by temptations. Fucked up society we live in, I really wish I was living with a family somewhere in the woods making art all day and growing my own crops.

We danced to some records (The Doors, Lou Reed), we have a similar taste in music which is cool, watched The Doom Generation, listened to some more music (Mazzy Star this time). She was so sad that she was sober, I hugged her because I know this pain, I've seen it before too with my ex. We laid in bed like this for a while. Then we got horny and fucked for hours. I came in her ass, she came too, came in her pussy, ate her out, got my dick sucked, it was great. Her body is curvy and soft, her ass firm and round, and her nipples get hard really nicely, damn, I get hard thinking about it again. We slept around six I think.

This morning the first thing she said that she probably should go, even though I asked her what she wanted for breakfast before we fell asleep. I really wish for her she was more confident, not addicted to stuff, and more hopeful about life. I made nice omelets and bread with cheese, coffee and an orange for her. She rolled another cig. I did a simple tarot reading for her too, we had talked about that the day before. It was Five of Swords (past), Page of Swords (present), Knight of Swords (future). The card of the day was Knight of Swords again.

I had about six missed calls from various people from the squat. I think because I gave cr1s the number of one of the people living there so she could ask if she could stay there since currently she's sleeping on the couch of friends of her. It's a shitshow in the squat and not my problem that they're paranoid as fuck. Apparently some of them still suspect that I might be an undercover cop (lmao?!).

Right now I'm sitting in my university at some table, surprisingly that's allowed. There's a cute girl sitting behind me and this weekend I'll be seeing another girl.

Talk to you soon,