Skating set me free

Page 15 | 2020-11-23

Dear ic3,

My friend pnr4 just left this morning, she's the girl I met on Tinder and was telling you I'd see in the weekend. Yesterday I went to visit her in her new warehouse she rents with a group of people. It's a really cool space with a lot of possibilities and she offered me to use the place for free. I really would love to host exhibitions of some sort there.

I went there with drugz because I had been skating with her all day already and felt like hanging out with pnr4 more as a friend than as a date. I feel that I don't want to get to attached to a person at the moment nor give the wrong signals. I haven't told her that I slept with cr1s, though, but that's cool since I don't assume I'm the only one she's sleeping with. It was cool, we smoked some doobies from bummed cigarettes and weed and drank some asian wine. I also filmed her and the warehouse, she might be in the movie too. drugz seemed to like the warehouse a lot, which I think is great, since it's a less toxic environment than the squat and can be turned into a proper studio to work.

Speaking of the squat, cr1s is desperately looking for an affordable place to stay so I gave her the contact of someone in the squat but they're hesitant and too paranoid to take her. They must have at least two free rooms but because they're majorly fucking up all the time they can't handle shit. Oh well, it is an environment too toxic for a person like cr1s anyway.

Yesterday too my phone broke when I fell while skating, what a relief. It really was supposed to be that way since I backed up my photo's the day before. It's completely smashed beyond any recovery I think. The only way to eliminate the botnet. But because you can't really live without a phone nowadays I've made the switch back to my dumbphone Nokia.

About pnr4, she is really cool, but something's bothering me; I don't know exactly what, maybe it's me, not her. When I visited her in the warehouse and she was showing me the clothing she was working on and all the designs she had in mind it was really cool. Also we worked on some shoes she was designing and I helped her cut a nice top for her. That was great, but as soon as we sat down and did nothing for a while I felt an immense boredom. The same at my place later, as long as we're doing something like making food it's fine, but as soon as we chill I'm immediately bored. Also the sex isn't too great. I mean, it's good, I cum and all, but I don't feel a connection during, it feels kind of machinelike. I find my mind wandering, thinking of other things than the sex we're having. It's almost like an obligatory task to proceed to the next empty moment. I feel a little bad to judge her this hard but it's just the way it is, I suppose. I'll see how things progress, can it transform into a platonic relationship if it has been built on sex?

Also the smoking is still a problem. pnr4 smokes too and I can't be bothered to resist her cigs, at least I haven't bought tobacco myself yet.

See ya soon, the sun's shining so I'm taking this opportunity to skate on this cold autumn day. I'm going to the squat today again to skate with drugz and maybe film the last few scenes for the movie, I'm really looking forward to just editing, having all the footage I need.